you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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