eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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