My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
