Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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