Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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