Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
