I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
