none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
