The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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