It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Duck Duck Cougar?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize