I wish i was in the wii world.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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