I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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