the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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