Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
