so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
