They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
