I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize