Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
