I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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