Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize