the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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