You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
