waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
