they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
