If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Too much gin, very little bucket
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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