Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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