The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize