Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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