Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
there was a trapeze. enough said
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
