The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
