Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Randomize
