i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize