South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
