I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
