I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
You're so nebulous sometimes
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
