I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
