Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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