He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
