it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize