doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize