i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
