I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
we should paint friendship bongs
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