i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
