Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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