he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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