For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
