I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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