so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
