The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
