oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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