McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
