We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
