I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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