Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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