Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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