Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
