Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
