I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
