I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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