this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
