Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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