i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
