when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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