he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
