Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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