I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
