We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
God I need to hump something, right now.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
