would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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