Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
