I'm laying in your front yard are you home
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
