Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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