He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
